Sep 6, 2011

First Campaigner Challenge

This week, the campaign challenge is to write a 200 word story/poem/essay/whatever starting with "The door swung open" and ending (optional) with "The door swung shut." My entry is below.

Those of you wanting to get in on the fun, networking and blog hopping, visit Rachael Harrie here.


The door swung open a smidge and there they were.
Her husband and Linda, laughing it up in Sharon’s kitchen. She sank back on her haunches, her fingers closing around a rock. Her best friend had another think coming if she thought she could move in on Rick.
Sharon tensed as a car pulled into her drive. She knew it belonged to her kidnappers, aka Marge and Bert, her neighbors. They’d spirited her away on some pretext this evening but Sharon had seen through that. She knew something was up.
And now she had proof.
“Sharon!” hissed Marge. “Oh Bert, I think we lost her. Rick is going to be so mad.”
“We’ll find her,” Bert said. Sharon considered diving into the shrubs as he neared but it was too late. Bert’s beefy face lit up when he spotted her.
“Here she is!” he told Marge. “She outsmarted us. I guess the game is up.”
“It sure is,” Sharon said, rising.
“Honey, we should go in first,” Marge said. But Sharon shook her head.
“I already know what’s going on,” she said and stepped inside.
“Surprise!” the huge crowd of people yelled. Sharon’s jaw dropped as the door swung shut.

16 comments:

Angie Cothran said...

Ha ha, nice! I was hoping she was going to throw a rock at her husbands head :) Well done.

julie fedderson said...

Very nice! Always love when suspicion gets the better of people. Great job!

Carrie Butler said...

Hah! I love surprise endings. :D Very nice!

Angelina C. Hansen said...

I could have sworn that I commented on this earlier. Hmmm. Hooray for surprises!

Deana said...

Ha! I am a sucker for happy endings! Great job Melodie:)

Trisha said...

At first I was a bit confused between all the characters - but things became clear at the end. Love the twist! Nice work.

Melodie said...

Thanks for your comments, all. And Angelina, you weren't hallucinating. You did comment earlier...I somehow accidentally deleted about 7 comments. Did not know I could do that. :)

Katie Dodge said...

Oh good, a happy ending!THis was fun! :)

Sarah Pearson said...

Ah, so it's not deja vu!

I think my comment said something like:
It could have been worse, she could have got there with the rock before the neighbours caught up.

I also liked that it was a light-hearted entry :-)

Kurt Hartwig said...

Bound to be a couple of awkward conversations at THAT party...

cleemckenzie said...

Loved the fun you had with these 200 words. Good job!

bridgetstraub.com said...

I was a little confused at the start too but that might just be because I've read so many of these by now. I liked the ending though. Mine is #72

Theresa Milstein said...

Ooo, a happy one! Mine wasn't nearly as happy. Glad to see the opening and closing of doors doesn't have to lead to bad things.

Michael Di Gesu said...

Such fun... Nicely done. As Theresa said, it's nice to see something unexpected and fun.

rebeccaenzor said...

I kept thinking "there's got to be a good explanation" and I'm so glad there was! Very fun :)

Carrie-Anne said...

I liked this one! It created a great sense of suspense as to what was actually happening until the final reveal.