Dialogue introduction

Abe: Introducing Rachel Marr.

Rachel: Smooth. I can tell you've done this before

A. Hey, you're the one with all the press experience. Show me how it's done.

Rachel *clears throat* You've heard about him in the pages of Archaeological Digest. You've read his extraordinary treatise on the demise of the Mayans...

A: The Mayans? I've never...

Rachel: *quietly* Just go with it. And you've seen him covered in dust on the local news. His face is everywhere - and what a handsome face it is - please welcome Abraham Osiensky.

A: You think I'm handsome?

R: Sure. Now you go.

A:  Uh...Introducing Rachel Marr, the girl who has it all: beauty, brains and a phenomenal acting ability that's propelled her to fame most people only dream about. She can speak four languages...

R: It's more like, three, but we'll go with that.

A: And she's richer than God. But underneath all that glam is a really nice person. I should know - she just saved my neck in a major way.

R: Aw. You're so sweet, Abe. *pinches his cheek*

A: *jerks away* That's why it's easy to overlook her shortcomings.

R: Shortcomings? Like what?

A: You're scared of bats.  And you drive like you've escaped from a mental institution.

R: Just because I don't like sitting in bat poo doesn't mean I'm scared of them. You're the real the chicken here, buddy. *flaps arms like chicken wings* Brock!

A: Oh shut up.

Kathleen Rushall interview

In case you'd like to know more about our featured agent our last week of Deana's blogfest - besides the fact she's totally wonderful for casting an eye over our entries - check out her Writer's Digest interview.

First 200 words

I'm soooo excited about this final week in Deana Barnhart's blogfest. This week my YA mystery, Saving Andromeda comes out of the vault for my initial revisions - which will be major - so I covet your suggestions on how to make this better. I've fiddled with the word choice in this, particularly the part about the sister - she's white and gold, etc.

Those of you born editors, have at it. Please let me know if it's not clear Buddy is Andie's brother in the second main graph. I might need more words there. This whole prologue is only 300 words and I'd like to keep it as tight as possible. This is a mystery so you should have questions - I wrote it that way on purpose! :)
Thanks in advance and I look forward to reading/commenting on all the other first 200s!

Nineteen years ago

Blood was everywhere.
Only some of it belonged to Andromeda.

Ricky Murphy lay in the entryway in front of them, his mouth twisted in a snarl. His hands clawed at the gaping wound in his stomach, catching on intestines leaking like soft grey rope.

“Bitch,” he muttered, panting.

Buddy grunted and Andie reached for his hand without looking at him. The image of her brother’s broken face was seared in her mind– four squares of skin split by jagged scars so raw they looked like a cross drawn by a preschooler with a red marker.

Their sister leaned over Ricky, her blond hair sliding over one shoulder. In the dim light of the hall, she was a figure of white and gold, her eyes glittering like sea glass.

“They’re waiting for you in hell, Ricky,” she murmured, one ruby-tipped finger caressing his pallid skin. “Go on, now.”

Ricky flinched but couldn’t move away.

The knife handle grew sticky in Andromeda’s palm. It was their father’s best fillet knife, its blade wickedly curved like a scimitar. She’d watched Dad gut countless flounder with it after he’d pounded their heads to pulp with an oar.